the quintessential human chemistry set. I am an experiment. I have failed to be human. But I'm trying to take it all back. I need an anchor. An answer to my voice. And yet the one I've loved most and all along is likely lost to me forever. There's the rub, yeah? Screw living or dying. Shakespeare wasn't effectively paraphrased over Hamlet and Ophelia's romance until the Rolling Stones- "You can't always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you just mind find, you get what you NEED!"
God, I hate finding psychological solace in the rock lyrics written by drug-addled escapists themselves.
Stay strong. I'm not.
-Z
- Voice Post
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8)
mindsparq- September 2nd, 2009
VoicePost 
167K 0:51
“So I finally felt part of a new community here in port(?) ___ going to school and I struggle with it. Because I feel like service everybody that are not be coming part of what this is. I'm not making friends, I'm just watching people. And it's frustrating. Because I know, I know I have the ability to you know meet people and make friends but there's trouble. It's been part of ___ I'm about 8 years old than anybody else here. And in the class that I'm taking ___. I'm not really sure what's gonna happen, but I must speak up. I join the class, making it to the class has change me and, that's all I got to see. So keep love and hope.”
Auto-Transcribed Voice Post - spoken through SpinVox
- Word to your mom. I came to drop bombs.
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- mindsparq
- August 10th, 2009
I can't even watch the news anymore. I want to get sick. I'm actually going back to school- I move this week. I'm going to be a teacher when I'm done so that I can teach people to sift through the bullshit to find the little nuggets of truth. Sadly the sifting and nuggets are often as undesirable as cat litter and cat poop respectively. But hey, somebody's gotta clean it up.
- And the beat goes on... duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-dumb
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- mindsparq
- June 13th, 2009
I don't know if I feel like something is missing or broken from inside of me, but it's definitively one or the other. I feel this naked void inside me, and it hurts, aches even, as I attempt to wrap my head around it.
- Well...
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- mindsparq
- March 12th, 2009
I got those cold coffee, cramped, ink-stained hands blues.
Diazepam doesn't hold it at by. Little white nothings are useless.
I hate pills. Pills hate me.
Organizing the organics leaves us all in a game of shame and tell.
Whatever happened to the American Dream?
I think I lost it when they gave me Ambien to make me sleep.
Talk about some crazy halleucinations.
Somewhere along the way, as they've used me as a chemical guinea pig and I've filled myself with smoke- I've forgotten how to feel right.
And I've forgotten how to assert myself. Stick up for myself.
I hate it.
I want what I want, and yet I can never again have it. What a revelation to make yeah?
[smoke the day's last cigarette, just wish the night was through]
*sparq*
